So…I have two sons.
I expect to teach them good family values and to be respectful of women. (Admittedly, I am still working on it for myself.)
When do we start sex education though? When is it no longer appropriate for. Either of the boys to bathe with mommy or daddy? Or see us changing? Where do you draw the line between establishing modesty and taboos and letting them know, “hey, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina“?
Most importantly, how do you tell them about sex? How do some parents think it is ok never to talk about sex?
I do not want Leo or Oli to repeat this guy’s story.
But I don’t want them teaching their classmates before they or their parents are ready either.
How did your parents tell you about sex? Or how did you learn about it?
What do you think? Share in the comments.
September 22, 2017 at 10:02 am
That is the funniest story about Nomad!!! I’m stifling giggles as I nurse my 10 month old to sleep!
Anyhow, it was not really a thing to talk about in my family. I didn’t know until at least age 8or9 what sex was (ewww! you have to be naked with a man?! Can’t they just create a nightgown with a hole in it or something?! That was my response…lol.)…then the birds and the bees happened at puberty onset. Maybe 12-13.
THIS is a different world we live in today. I’m also raising my three daughters (4.5, almost 3 and the baby) much differently than I was raised. We all sleep in one room on two beds pushed together (king/queen). We often bathe together. They know that boys and girls have different body parts, private parts are not for anyone else to touch, save 2-3 safe people to help us clean and that’s all they know for right now. But nudity isn’t something we even bring up. It’s just a part of getting dressed. The body underneath. They know we keep our clothes on when we’re outside the home because we don’t show our bodies to anyone but our little family. I plan to introduce the anatomically correct names of private parts next. It’s good for them to know that, I think.
That’s where we are and I have no idea where we’re headed with this topic in the future!! And if I had sons, I don’t THINK I would approach it differently up until this point. But who’s to know for sure?! No need to make a big deal, explain when appropriate, answer questions as they arise, try not to create shame…so to speak.
That’s all I’ve got so far! There are so many unsure parts to parenting. You never really know if you’re doing the right thing…until you know for sure you did the WRONG thing. Then you apologize and try to fix it. That was me yesterday, but today is a new day. I thank the Lord for that…
September 22, 2017 at 4:21 pm
Thanks Holly. I love your reply. Especially accepting that we are not perfect as parents. It is interesting to think of the boys versus girls difference too. And then what about non binary kids? Whew!
Glad you got a giggle out of the original post.
September 23, 2017 at 5:00 pm
Listened to this episode of This American Life today:
The opening journalist seemed to navigate the conversation by asking them what they knew and responded as naturally as she could, sharing her perspective hoping they would consider how what people believe shapes others’ worlds.
Constant conversation has always worked for me. My friends and family used to call me negative and told me I needed to turn it off. I learned to listen a little more and accept that change won’t happen immediately. Luckily families have a lot more opportunities to influence each other. Being in college has helped my parents age healthier (shh) because my siblings and I are trying new things all the time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
September 23, 2017 at 6:07 pm
This is a really interesting perspective because you also touch on later life and how knowledge of self affects the relationships with others later on. Constant conversation seems like it would be best for my kids too, but also emotionally taxing for me. Where is the balance? I guess the next 18 years will tell.